Baumann

The original title of this post was to be Apparently, I Should Be Posting More, but in its inception, I received the Blue Screen of Death and decided to add another topic to the list. I’m right. I don’t blog enough anymore. I just finished watching an episode of House in which Laura Prepon guests as a sickly woman my age who divulges every fleeting thought to her cadre of readers across the globe. Not only does this inflict emotional distress in her personal relationship, but also manifests as a breaking point for her to make important medical decisions. Now, I’m not in the least relating my own situation to this but it did strike a couple of important thoughts in me. The first of which is that while I was recently in a significant relationship, I chose to withold important details of the incidence that occurred in its duration. In hindsight, this may have been a good thing. Since things are now not as amicable as I would like them to be, it is better not to have spilled any blood for the case of retaliation. I know of this first hand as now over three years ago, I was the recipient of such evil. On the plus side, the both of us now see just how destructive divulging every last bit of information to friends, family, and perfect strangers can be. As for the current situation, it’s hard for me to think of anything that could’ve been written that would not have completely hurt this person.

There is reason for restraint and privacy. There are ways that people behave when they are amongst others in public and private situations that differ entirely. I have what I consider to be an advantage when it comes to both of these situations; I am always the same person. I have a tendency, for which I am now addressing psychologically, to behave a certain way towards people whether they be strangers, collegues, or intimates. The point is that I don’t hide behind some facade of what I think I should be in some form and flip a switch when I get home. I’ve seen this kind of behavior, it doesn’t agree with people in the long term. There are also other things that I could divulge about relationship matters that I’ve had but some will argue sides and no true resolutions will be made. Not to mention, it’s not as if my hit count here has exceeded double digits. Shit, I was shocked when one day I logged over 25 different readers. I could, as anyone would, hope that more and more people will actually be reading my words; not an obsession, just validation.